“Listen. Just listen. You don’t have to agree. Just see if you can understand that there’s another person who has a completely different experience of the same reality.” – Esther Perel
The above quote highlights one of the most recurring themes in relationship counselling; namely that events, both present and past, can be remembered and understood in completely different ways. In addition, we often find ourselves frustrated by our partners inability to understand us. We can feel unheard and even alienated within a relationship we once valued. We may ask ourselves what went wrong and even blame ourselves or our partner for the deterioration of the relationship we once valued so much.
It can sometimes feel like the distance between ourselves and our partner is insurmountable. At times, resentments, frustrations and rivalries within the relationship keep resurging no matter how hard we try to ignore, supress or avoid these relational conflicts. We may even consider ending the relationship.
It is often at this point that either one or both parties decide to seek outside help from a relationship therapist. The question however, is how can relationship counselling help?
At The Practice we hold that for any relationship to flourish, there needs to be a deep understanding of how we communicate in the relationship. We often develop communication patterns that are unhelpful and even harmful. Our couples counsellors are highly trained in recognising unhelpful communication patterns and highlight these with the aim of developing ways of communicating. Better communication results in healthier dynamics and switches the focus to understanding and resolution as opposed to blame and conflict, whatever the outcome.
Couples counselling can also help us come to understand our previous relationship and family history as a means of increasing our awareness of how they impact our present relationship.
In addition, relationship therapy can help us understand at what point the relationship began to deteriorate and jointly develop techniques that can help us move forward in healthy and adaptive ways. Doing so is not easy as there is a need to process some of the hurt misunderstandings which have taken root. Doing so in a safe, confidential setting with one of our qualified therapists can make a significant difference in the achievement of this aim.
Please get in touch with one of our couples counsellors for a free and confidential consultation.
Our Couples Counsellors
The Practice Weybridge
The Practice East Molesey