Thriving as a Couple in Lockdown
We all do it after a while in our relationships - we get a little too comfy and arguably, the most important relationship is left to its own devices. When forced together in the same space without the usual distractions of life the results of that neglect may begin to surface.
The good news!
Love and creating a healthy relationship is a skill it can be learnt.
Educate yourself.
Why Him Why Her? Helen Fisher Help you understand why we choose the love we choose.
Deep Survival, Who Lives, Who Dies and Why, Laurence Gonzales Extraordinary tales of survival and how our emotional markers learnt through our experiences, dictate how we responded in a crisis. You will find lessons that you can use in every day life.
Ted Talks are full of relationship experts.
Adapt to the new normal try and go with it.
Don’t compare yourself with other couples. Oliver James in his book Britain on the Couch talks of death by a thousand comparisons and, it’s true. As a couple develop your own lockdown style.
Give each other space.
Remember we all have different attachment styles, forged in childhood. When forced together we may respond differently. Don’t take it personally if your partner struggles with the closeness or vice versa. This is likely to have nothing to do with you!
Watch The School of Life YouTube clips. They have a wealth of easily accessible videos of all things relationship related. They also publish a couples workbooks that are good fun and will take your relationship to places it has never been before. You can use it to plan your shared projects and future together.
If you do find things are getting a little tough don’t struggle alone
Call in the experts. Many good couples therapists are now working online. They will help you work out what’s really going on, work though it and come out in a better place.
Above all, accept and love the person you are with, you are now faced with the reality of your chosen one. Love, accept, be kind.
By Jane Barnfield Jukes, founder of The Practice