How to Support a Loved One Struggling with Their Mental Health

We live in a time where a plethora of information is available at the click of your keyboard. Often this information is confusing, complicated and contradictory. This article is intended to simplify the varied information surrounding supporting a loved one who may be struggling with their mental health and, hopefully, help you become more informed.

When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, it can be difficult to know what to do or say. You might feel helpless, worried about saying the wrong thing or unsure how to offer support without overwhelming yourself.

The truth is you don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to be present, listen and offer support in a way that respects both your loved one’s needs and your own well-being.

In this post, we’ll explore how to recognise when someone might need support, practical ways to help and how to take care of yourself in the process.

Signs Someone Might Be Struggling

People don’t always openly express when they’re struggling with their mental health, but there are signs to look out for:

• Changes in behaviour – Becoming withdrawn, irritable or more emotional than usual.
• Avoiding social situations – Cancelling plans frequently or making excuses to stay home.
• Sleep disturbances – Either struggling to sleep or sleeping too much.
• Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy – Hobbies, work or social activities may no longer excite them.
• Changes in appetite – Eating significantly more or less than usual.
• Speaking negatively about themselves – Expressing feelings of worthlessness, guilt or hopelessness.

If you’ve noticed these changes in a friend, family member or partner, they may be struggling with their mental health and could benefit from support.

How to Offer Support Without Overstepping

1. Start the Conversation

Bringing up mental health can feel uncomfortable, but a simple check-in can mean the world to someone who is struggling. You don't need to have the perfect words, just showing you care is enough.

Try saying:

• “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately. Is everything okay?”
• “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling.”
• “I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.”

If they don’t want to talk straight away, don’t push, let them know you’re available when they’re ready.

2. Listen Without Trying to “Fix” Things

When someone shares their struggles, our instinct is often to offer solutions. But sometimes, what they need most is simply someone to listen.

Instead of:

“You just need to think positively.”
“Try to cheer up—it’s not that bad.”

Try:

“That sounds really tough. I’m here for you.”
“I can’t imagine how that feels, but I want to understand.”
“You’re not alone in this.”

Validation and empathy go a long way in making someone feel heard and supported.

3. Encourage Professional Help (Without Pressure)

If your loved one is struggling, they may benefit from speaking to a therapist. However, pushing them too hard to seek help can backfire. Instead, gently suggest options:

• “Have you thought about talking to someone about this? Therapy could be really helpful.”
• “There are some great mental health services that might help—would you like me to help you find one?”

If they’re not ready, respect their decision while keeping the door open for future discussions.

4. Offer Practical Support

Sometimes, small practical gestures can make a huge difference, such as:

• Helping with everyday tasks (cooking, shopping, childcare).
• Accompanying them to an appointment if they’re nervous.
• Checking in with a simple text or call to show you care.

5. Respect Their Boundaries

It’s important to recognise that you can offer support, but you can’t force someone to open up, seek help or “get better” on your timeline. Respect their boundaries while continuing to show kindness.

6. Look After Yourself Too

Supporting someone with mental health challenges can be emotionally draining. Make sure you:

• Set boundaries to avoid burnout.
• Talk to someone (a therapist or friend) about your own feelings.
• Take time for self-care and your own mental well-being.

Remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting yourself allows you to better support others.

What If They Don’t Want Help?

If your loved one refuses help, it can be frustrating and worrying. Try to:

• Be patient – They may not be ready yet but knowing you’re there for them can help.
• Keep communication open – Continue checking in without pressuring them.
• Focus on what you can control – You can’t “fix” them, but you can be a supportive presence in their life.
• Know when to step back – If their behaviour is affecting your mental health, set boundaries and seek your own support.

If you believe they are at risk of harming themselves, it’s important to seek urgent help from a GP, therapist, or crisis service such as Samaritans (call 116 123 in the UK).

Where to Find Support in Surrey

If you or someone you care about is struggling with mental health, professional support can make a huge difference.

At The Practice, we offer therapy for individuals, couples, and families in Surrey. We have a wealth of well trained and experienced therapists at The Practice to help. Please feel free to contact us or call on 0333 0096 321 if you feel therapy can assist you or your loved one.