How to Support a Loved One with an Eating Disorder – And How Therapy Can Help

We live in a time where a plethora of information is available at the click of your keyboard. Often this information is confusing, complicated and contradictory. This article is intended to simplify the varied information surrounding eating disorders and, hopefully, help you become more informed.

Watching a loved one struggle with an eating disorder can be heartbreaking. You may feel helpless, frustrated or even scared. Eating disorders aren’t just about food—they’re complex mental health conditions that can affect a person’s physical health, emotions and self-perception.

Your support can make a huge difference but knowing what to do (and what not to do) is key. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to help a loved one with an eating disorder and how therapy can provide essential guidance for both of you.

1. Understand That It’s Not Just About Food

It’s easy to think that eating disorders are simply about eating too little, too much, or obsessing over body image. But they’re deeper than that. They often stem from underlying emotional struggles like anxiety, trauma, low self-worth, or a need for control.

Instead of focusing on what they are eating (or not eating), try to understand what they are feeling. Approach them with empathy rather than judgment.

What to do:

• Educate yourself about eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, etc.).
• Avoid making comments about their appearance, weight, or eating habits.
• Ask how they’re feeling instead of commenting on what’s on their plate.

2. Create a Safe, Non-Judgmental Space

People with eating disorders often struggle with shame and secrecy. They might feel afraid to open up, fearing judgment or pressure to “just eat normally.” Your role is to create a space where they feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions.

What to do:

• Listen without interrupting or offering quick solutions.
• Let them know you care about them no matter what.
• Avoid ultimatums like “If you don’t eat, I won’t talk to you.”

3. Avoid Triggers and Unhelpful Comments

Certain phrases—no matter how well-intentioned—can be triggering. Saying things like “You look so healthy now!” can be misinterpreted as “You’ve gained weight” to someone in recovery. Even compliments on weight loss can reinforce disordered behaviors.

Instead, focus on non-appearance-based affirmations:

• “I love spending time with you.
• “You are so strong, and I admire you.”
• “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Also, be mindful of your own language around food and body image. Avoid making negative comments about your own weight or talking about “good” and “bad” foods.

4. Encourage Professional Help – But Don’t Force It

Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that often require professional intervention. A therapist, nutritionist, or doctor can provide guidance tailored to their needs. But pushing too hard can make them shut down.

What to do:

• Express concern gently: “I love you, and I think a professional could really help.”
• Offer to help find a therapist or attend an appointment with them.
• Respect their timeline—it must be their decision.

If they’re resistant, therapy can still be useful for you as a supporter. A therapist can help you understand the disorder better, set boundaries, and avoid burnout.

5. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting someone with an eating disorder can be emotionally exhausting. It’s okay to feel frustrated, scared, or even angry at times. You can’t pour from an empty cup—so make sure you have your own support system.

What to do:

• Seek therapy for yourself if needed.
• Set boundaries to protect your mental health.
• Remember that their recovery is not your responsibility—it’s theirs.

Final Thoughts

Recovery from an eating disorder is a journey, not a quick fix. Your loved one may have setbacks, and progress might be slow. But your support, patience, and encouragement can make a world of difference.

And remember: you don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can provide invaluable support—for both your loved one and you. If you’re struggling to know how to help, reaching out to a professional can give you the tools to navigate this journey with compassion and strength.

We have a wealth of well trained and experienced therapists at The Practice to help. Please feel free to contact us or call on 0333 0096 321 if you feel therapy can assist you.