Relationships

Relationships

Healthy relationships with others in our lives can make us feel fulfilled and deeply happy.  Being in a positive productive relationship can enable us to find meaning in our everyday lives.  These relationships help us to grow and allow us to take risks because we know we are loved and supported by those around us.

However these types of relationships require constant communication and lots of time and energy to stay positive and meaningful. When the lines of communication break down or become tangled people can be left feeling unloved, unwanted or lonely. Often they don’t know how to resolve the situation and react in ways that can make the situation worse. Sometimes the relationships we find ourselves in are unfulfilling and we don’t know what to do to alter the situation. 

Types of Relationship Issues

There are many types of issues that can arise in relationships. A counsellor will be able to work with the individuals involved to determine the causes of the problems and help to explore different ways to reach a positive and fulfilling solution.

Couples

Long lasting relationships are never free of conflict and discord.  When our communication lines break down because of these strains we can find ourselves struggling to find fulfilment and often begin to fill up with resentment and anger. When this begins to happen it might be time to find a counsellor or a therapist who can help you and your partner identify the issues and work through them together in a neutral environment.

Family

Familial relationships are a vital part of our lives.  These relationships help to define us and often become the foundation on which we base our future relationships.  When these essential relationships become stressed and strained the people involved are often damaged and frustrated.  Whether it is one person causing the issues or problems that have built up over time it is essential to find a solution and a trained family counsellor can help the family to find balance again by providing a safe environment where each family member can communicate freely and listen to the other family members do the same.

Child Therapy

Realising that your child is struggling emotionally or psychologically can be distressing for any parent.  Seeking the help of a professional can, in turn, enable you to either help the child yourself, or when necessary, help the child directly.  Much like an adult, children can have complex internal struggles and only by understanding what is going on with them can you reduce the anxiety they are experiencing.

More info

Useful Articles and Links

Below please find some articles and links you might find helpful.

TED Talk: Helen Fisher: The Brain in Love 
Why do we crave love so much, even to the point that we would die for it? To learn more about our very real, very physical need for romantic love, Helen Fisher and her research team took MRIs of people in love -- and people who had just been dumped.

The Most Common Relationship Problems and How Talk Can Help 
Relationships can be wonderful—and challenging. We all feel uncertainty or dissatisfaction in our relationships from time to time. Some of the toughest conversations we have are with those we love the most.

TEDTalk: Laura Trice: Remember to say thank you 
In this deceptively simple 3-minute talk, Dr. Laura Trice muses on the power of the magic words "thank you" — to deepen a friendship, to repair a bond, to make sure another person knows what they mean to you. Try it.

5 Words You  Need to Remember to Make Your Relationship Last  
A great relationship doesn’t just happen overnight. They are cultivated over many years and through hardships. They are born out of mutual respect and admiration. People with great relationships have them because each person in the relationship puts their partner’s well-being and happiness above their own. They take the time to learn each other’s needs and wants. They understand that they may give and receive love differently than each other. They respect boundaries that their partner sets out for them. They live their lives together by doing things together and spending time together. They laugh together and at each other. There are five things, five words that encapsulate what it means to have a great relationship with your partner.

Recommended Books

The Way to Love: Meditations for Life
The Way to Love contains some of the most beloved stories from Anthony de Mello.

Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships (Penguin Life)
The bestselling Games People Play is the book that has helped millions of people understand the dynamics of relationships, by psychiatrist Eric Berne

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner
This book is a practical guide to using the science of attachment and relationships to find the right life partner by Jeb Kinnison

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love Rachel Heller and Amir Levine
How our attachment styles learned in childhoold affect our relationships.

Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers - Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D.
International authority on child development Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., joins forces with bestselling author Gabor Mate, M.D., to tackle one of the most disturbing trends of our time: Children today looking to their peers for direction their values, identity, and codes of behavior.

The Life Changing Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Sarah Knight
This irreverent and practical book explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt - and give your f**ks instead to people and things that make you happy.

Poems and Quotes to Inspire You

The Place Where We Are Right - Yehuda Amichai

From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring.

The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.

But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, a plough.
And a whisper will be heard in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.

Love is Patient - The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

 

Charities and support groups

Charities and support groups

Below you will find a comprehensive list of charities and support groups that offer help and assistance to anyone who is struggling with this mental health issue

Rape Crisis

Rape Crisis Centres offer a range of services for women and girls who have been raped or experienced another form of sexual violence.  Rape Crisis Centres are not just for women in ‘crisis’ - many women contact them years after they have been raped or sexually abused.  You can contact the National Sexual Violence Helpline for help and advice and can find contact details for your nearest Rape Crisis Centre on Rape Crisis’ website.

Helpline: 0808 802 9999 (Daily, 12pm – 2:30pm, and 7pm – 9:30pm)
Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (Daily, open 24 hours a day)
www.rapecrisis.org.uk

The Hideout

The Hideout is a dedicated website for young people up to the age of 21 where they can find information about relationship abuse and where to get help. There is also a moderated messageboard where young people can post about what's going on in their relationships and get direct information and support.

www.thehideout.org.uk

Mind - For Better Mental Health

We provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. We campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.  We won't give up until everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets support and respect.

http://www.mind.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

SANE

SANE services provide practical help, emotional support and specialist information to individuals affected by mental health problems, their family, friends and carers.

http://www.sane.org.uk/
Helpline 0845 767 8000

Salvation Army

The Salvation Army works closely with addiction referral services as well as providing specialist detox centres in the UK. This is complemented by rehabilitation and support programmes.

http://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/addiction-support

Get Connected

Get Connected is the UK's free, confidential helpline service for young people under 25 who need help, but don't know where to turn.

Helpline: 0808 808 4994
Open from 11am - 11pm every day
http://www.getconnected.org.uk/

Counselling Directory

Counselling Directory aims to be the leading service for providing counselling advice and information - connecting those in distress with the largest support network in the UK.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

The Site

TheSite.org is the first place young people should check for advice, information and support on sex, relationships, drugs, drink, health and wellbeing.

http://www.thesite.org/

Time to Change

Our aim is to start a conversation… or hopefully thousands of conversations.

We want to empower people with mental health problems to feel confident talking about the issue without facing discrimination. And we want the three quarters of the population who know someone with a mental health problem to talk about it too.

http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

Have I got a Problem?

HaveiGotAproblem.com is a free online resource to help you understand issues or concerns you may have about mental health or addiction issues.

This site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.

 

http://www.haveigotaproblem.com/

 

This is Abuse

Abuse is not normal and never ok. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself. There are different forms of abuse, which you can find out about on this website, but if your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship.

http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/

 

Relate

Relationships with family, partners, friends and colleagues play a big part in how happy we are. Whether you're facing difficulties, looking to strengthen your relationships, or want help thinking things through we're here to support you.

http://www.relate.org.uk

The Parent Connection

Our Parent Connection site is for parents who have separated. The free online DIY support and courses that are available via the Parent Connection have helped thousands of people who are keen to reduce the negative impact of a separation or divorce on their children.

www.theparentconnection.org.uk 

Splitting up? Put Kids First.

Bringing up children involves lots of joint decisions. If you are separated, it’s harder to make these decisions and plans as you go along.

Our site offers you the opportunity to create a parenting plan online, and to ask your ex-partner to do the same.

Once you have both filled the plan and know where each other stand, the idea is that it will then be easier to come to agreements about future childcare.

www.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk

Forced Marriage Unit

You have the right to choose who you marry, when you marry or if you marry at all. Forced marriage is when you face physical pressure to marry (eg threats, physical violence or sexual violence) or emotional and psychological pressure (eg if you’re made to feel like you’re bringing shame on your family). Financial pressure can also be a factor. 

Forced marriage is illegal in England, Scotland and Wales.

Contact the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) if you’re trying to stop a forced marriage or you need help leaving a marriage you’ve been forced into.

fmu@fco.gov.uk

Telephone: 020 7008 0151
From overseas: +44 (0)20 7008 0151
Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm 
Out of hours: 020 7008 1500 (ask for the Global Response Centre) 

Call 999 in an emergency.

From overseas: +44 (0)20 7008 1500 

Childline

The UK’s free and confidential helpline is not just for children, it provides help for young people of all ages who are in distress or danger.  Counsellors provide advice and support, by phone and online, 24 hours a day. 

You can get help and advice about a wide range of issues, including violence and abuse in your relationship on the Childline website.  You can also talk to a counsellor online, send an email or post on the message boards.

Whatever your worry, it’s better out than in.

ChildLine has launched an app called Zipit. It helps you get flirty chat back on the right track. It's packed with killer comebacks and top tips to help you stay in control of your chat game. Find out more: childline.org.uk/zipit

Helpline: 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk

Broken Rainbow

Broken Rainbow offers support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people experiencing domestic violence. It also aims to raise awareness in the LGBT community and elsewhere of the impact of homophobic, transphobic and same sex domestic violence on the lives of LGBT people.

Broken Rainbow runs a Helpline staffed by highly trained operators, experienced in the specifics of LGBT domestic violence, with many coming from front line services.  They understand the issues you’ll face and go through extensive training to provide you with the best possible support.  

Helpline: 0300 999 5428 (Monday & Thursday 10am – 8pm, Tuesday & Wednesday 10am – 5pm.
www.brokenrainbow.org.uk
help@brokenrainbow.org.uk

IKWRO

IKWRO helps Middle Eastern women and girls (Iranian, Kurdish, Arab, Afghan and Turkish) who are living in the UK and provide confidential advice on issues including domestic violence, “honour” based violence, forced marriage, female genital mutilation, separation and divorce, child custody, housing and benefits. They speak Farsi, Arabic, Kurdish, Dari, Turkish and English.

We can speak with you on the telephone, see you at our London office or meet you at another place which is safe and convenient for you.  All our services are completely confidential.

Helpline: 07846 275 246 (Arabic/ Kurdish) or 0207 920 6460 (Farsi/ Dari/ Turkish)  (Mon to Fri 9.30-5.30)
07846 310157 (24 hours out-of-hours emergencies - Farsi/Dari/Turkish) 
ikwro.org.uk/need-help-now/

Young Minds

Charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.

www.youngminds.org.uk
Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 Monday - Friday 9.30am - 4pm

Support Line

SupportLine provides a confidential telephone helpline offering emotional support to any individual on any issue. The Helpline is primarily a preventative service and aims to support people before they reach the point of crisis. It is particularly aimed at those who are socially isolated, vulnerable, at risk groups and victims of any form of abuse. SupportLine is a member of the Helplines Association. SupportLine also provides support by email and post.

http://www.supportline.org.uk
Helpline: 01708 765 200

Student Minds

Student Minds is the UK's student mental health charity. We believe that peer support can change the state of student mental health. Our vision is for students to take action to foster an environment where everyone has the confidence to talk and listen to each other, the skills to support one another and the knowledge to look after their own mental health.

Helpline: 08444 775 774 Mon-Fri 9:30am - 5.30pm (calls subject to charge)
http://www.studentminds.org.uk/anxiety-disorders.html

Samaritans

The Samaritans provide 24 hour, confidential, emotional support for anyone in crisis.

http://www.samaritans.org/
Helpline 116 123, this number is FREE to call
Email jo@samaritans.org

Elefriends (run by Mind)

Elefriends is a supportive online community where you can be yourself. 

We all know what it's like to struggle sometimes, and this is a safe place to listen, share and be heard. Whether you're feeling good right now, or really low, it's a safe place to share experiences and listen to others. 

Shared experiences and perspectives are valuable and powerful. In this way Elefriends don't just get help, they give help too. In the good times and the bad.

www.elefriends.org.uk

Off The Record

We believe that young people need places to go which are easy to access, where you are treated with respect, and where you can get support and information to help you make your own life choices. Our services are friendly and welcoming – about 1,000 new young people visit us every year. Available in the Richmond borough.

http://otrtwickenham.com/

Papyrus UK

Suicide prevention for young people up to the age of 35

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Helpline: 0800 068 41 41
Monday - Friday 10am – 5pm & 7pm – 10pm, Weekends 2pm – 5pm 

Text: 07786 209697
Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org

 

Barnardos

Barnardo’s believes in children regardless of their circumstances, gender, race, disability or behaviour. Our purpose as a charity today is to transform the lives of the UK’s most vulnerable children. We believe in the abused, the most vulnerable, the forgotten and the neglected. We will support them, stand up for them and bring out the best in each and every child.

www.barnardos.org.uk

Family Lives

Offers support to anyone parenting or helping to raise children, from newborn babies to young adults. There are free telephone and email helplines, parenting courses and information leaflets. The website offers lots of advice, real-life stories and relevant news as well as a helpful A-Z of related topics.

http://www.familylives.org.uk/
Helpline: 0800 800 2222 (9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday;10am – 3pm Saturday and Sunday)

 

One Plus One

OnePlusOne works to strengthen couple and family relationships by:

  • Offering online services to help couples and parents help themselves.

  • Providing learning resources to frontline practitioners and volunteers who help families with relationship issues.

  • Promoting a culture where it’s OK to seek relationship help.

  • Building knowledge in relationships, to inform improved government policies and family services.

http://www.oneplusone.org.uk/

Marriage Care

Marriage Care helps couples and individuals to build and sustain strong, fulfilling healthy relationships, as well as providing counselling support in times of relationship difficulty. And we’ve been doing this for over 65 years.

http://www.marriagecare.org.uk/

The Couple Connection

The Couple Connection site is for couples who want to work through their relationship issues and strengthen their relationships. It offers free online DIY support and courses that help people tackle common relationship issues.

www.thecoupleconnection.net

Think U Know

Thinkuknow offers advice to young people on sex, relationships and the internet. Are you in a relationship? Maybe you’re looking to start a new relationship online? Or are you curious or worried about sex? Thinkuknow will provide you with up-to-date, practical and frank advice to help you to develop the skills and confidence to make sure you’re safe and happy with the choices you are making.

www.thinkuknow.co.uk

Respect Not Fear

The Respect not Fear site was developed by the Nottinghamshire domestic violence forum, in consultation with young people.

The site contains games and advice which can help you think about your relationships, or you can make a pledge to find out what you can expect in a relationship and what shouldn’t be tolerated.

The Respect not Fear App is free and provides you with games such as the pyramid and respect'o'meter, it also gives you instant access to important information and support services.

www.respectnotfear.co.uk

Find a Practitioner
How would you like to have your sessions?
What can we help with?
Only practitioners who work with

126 Oatlands Drive, Weybridge, Surrey KT13 9HL | Tel: 01932 705760

© 2016 The Practice  |  Website by room11