Sexuality Issues

Sexuality Issues

This is a complex and often difficult area to address.

Sexual Identity

Sexual identity is often defined as how we think of ourselves in terms of to whom we are romantically or sexually attracted.  Sexuality is diverse and deeply personal. Understanding our sexuality includes coming to terms with the sexual feeling and attractions we have towards other people.  It is not about who we are having a physical sexual relationship with. 

Many people find it difficult to recognize why they are attracted to an individual of the same sex or to both sexes when our society forces us to view being attracted to the opposite sex as “natural” or “normal.”  Those of us who want to have a romantic or sexual relationship with someone of the same gender can often feel confused, scared or alienated.  These feelings can lead to difficulties in finding fulfilling relationships and can often leave us feeling emotionally damaged. 

Sexual Dysfunction

If you are having trouble with sexual performance you might be feeling shame, anger or embarrassment.  It can be quite common to feel afraid and helpless.  Many people suffer quietly for years, believing there is no way to help them overcome their issues, or are too fearful to discuss their performance issues with anyone.

Sexual dysfunction has many causes and can be quite common.  Many people find the causes are linked to external stresses of everyday life, intimacy problems within the relationship or lack of desire to be intimate.  If the cause(s) of sexual dysfunction are not addressed the knock on effects on your relationships and your happiness can be devastating.  

If you are having problems you might find it helpful to speak to either your GP or a trained counsellor.

More info

Useful Articles

Here's a list of articles on sexual issues you might find helpful.

Gender Identity Clinic for young people sees referrals double 
The number of young people referred to England's only gender identity clinic for under-18s has doubled in the past year to nearly 1,400, figures show.

The Tavistock and Portman: Gender identity development service (GIDS) 
For children and young people, and their families, who experience difficulties in the development of their gender identity.

Understanding Gender 
For many people, the terms “gender” and “sex” are used interchangeably, and thus incorrectly. This idea has become so common, particularly in western societies, that it is rarely questioned. We are born, assigned a sex, and sent out into the world. For many people, this is cause for little, if any dissonance. Yet biological sex and gender are different; gender is not inherently nor solely connected to one’s physical anatomy.

Gender identity and the big questions that have yet to be answered 
Why a person feels male when biologically female, or vice versa, is still unclear. But scientists are working to solve the puzzle

Sex, Sexuality and Sexual Disorders 
Sex and human sexuality are a core part of being human, so it's natural to wonder about sex in all of its different forms. Sexual disorders are like people -- they come in all different kinds of shapes and sizes. A sexual disorder doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you. It only means that you're experiencing the kind of issue that can suddenly affect anyone, at any time in their lives, for any reason or no reason whatsoever. While many sexual issues can be traced back to a physical problem or a sudden change in one's life circumstances, many sexual disorders' causes are not well-known or understood.

University of Maryland: Sexual Dysfunction 
Sexual dysfunction -- having a problem with sexual desire or response -- covers a wide variety of problems. In men, sexual dysfunction may refer to erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature or delayed ejaculation. For women, sexual dysfunction may include spasms of the vagina and pain with sexual intercourse. For both sexes, it can include problems with sexual desire (libido) and response.

Erectile Dysfunction and Erection Problems: Causes, Treatments 
Since the discovery that the drug sildenafil (Viagra) - originally a heart drug - had an effect on men's penile erections, most people have become aware of erectile dysfunction as a medical condition.

Poems and Quotes to Inspire You

Dare we hope? We dare.
Can we hope? We can.
Should we hope? We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts given so freely by God to all of us.  So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken.

Andy Ripley – England and Lions rugby legend, often described as one of the most colourful personalities in the history of English rugby

Charities and support groups

Charities and support groups

Below you will find a comprehensive list of charities and support groups that offer help and assistance to anyone who is struggling with this mental health issue

Childline

The UK’s free and confidential helpline is not just for children, it provides help for young people of all ages who are in distress or danger.  Counsellors provide advice and support, by phone and online, 24 hours a day. 

You can get help and advice about a wide range of issues, including violence and abuse in your relationship on the Childline website.  You can also talk to a counsellor online, send an email or post on the message boards.

Whatever your worry, it’s better out than in.

ChildLine has launched an app called Zipit. It helps you get flirty chat back on the right track. It's packed with killer comebacks and top tips to help you stay in control of your chat game. Find out more: childline.org.uk/zipit

Helpline: 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk

Broken Rainbow

Broken Rainbow offers support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people experiencing domestic violence. It also aims to raise awareness in the LGBT community and elsewhere of the impact of homophobic, transphobic and same sex domestic violence on the lives of LGBT people.

Broken Rainbow runs a Helpline staffed by highly trained operators, experienced in the specifics of LGBT domestic violence, with many coming from front line services.  They understand the issues you’ll face and go through extensive training to provide you with the best possible support.  

Helpline: 0300 999 5428 (Monday & Thursday 10am – 8pm, Tuesday & Wednesday 10am – 5pm.
www.brokenrainbow.org.uk
help@brokenrainbow.org.uk

Relate

Relationships with family, partners, friends and colleagues play a big part in how happy we are. Whether you're facing difficulties, looking to strengthen your relationships, or want help thinking things through we're here to support you.

http://www.relate.org.uk

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

SLAA is open to anyone who knows or thinks they have a problem with sex addiction, love addiction, romantic obsession, co-dependent relationships, fantasy addiction and/or sexual, social and emotional anorexia. You are welcome here. If you have a desire to be free from Sex and Love addiction you may find it helpful to attend one of the meetings listed on the meeting list convenient for you.

http://www.slaauk.org/

Mind - For Better Mental Health

We provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. We campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.  We won't give up until everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets support and respect.

http://www.mind.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

SANE

SANE services provide practical help, emotional support and specialist information to individuals affected by mental health problems, their family, friends and carers.

http://www.sane.org.uk/
Helpline 0845 767 8000

Salvation Army

The Salvation Army works closely with addiction referral services as well as providing specialist detox centres in the UK. This is complemented by rehabilitation and support programmes.

http://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/addiction-support

Get Connected

Get Connected is the UK's free, confidential helpline service for young people under 25 who need help, but don't know where to turn.

Helpline: 0808 808 4994
Open from 11am - 11pm every day
http://www.getconnected.org.uk/

Counselling Directory

Counselling Directory aims to be the leading service for providing counselling advice and information - connecting those in distress with the largest support network in the UK.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

The Site

TheSite.org is the first place young people should check for advice, information and support on sex, relationships, drugs, drink, health and wellbeing.

http://www.thesite.org/

Time to Change

Our aim is to start a conversation… or hopefully thousands of conversations.

We want to empower people with mental health problems to feel confident talking about the issue without facing discrimination. And we want the three quarters of the population who know someone with a mental health problem to talk about it too.

http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

Family Lives

Offers support to anyone parenting or helping to raise children, from newborn babies to young adults. There are free telephone and email helplines, parenting courses and information leaflets. The website offers lots of advice, real-life stories and relevant news as well as a helpful A-Z of related topics.

http://www.familylives.org.uk/
Helpline: 0800 800 2222 (9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday;10am – 3pm Saturday and Sunday)

 

Rape Crisis

Rape Crisis Centres offer a range of services for women and girls who have been raped or experienced another form of sexual violence.  Rape Crisis Centres are not just for women in ‘crisis’ - many women contact them years after they have been raped or sexually abused.  You can contact the National Sexual Violence Helpline for help and advice and can find contact details for your nearest Rape Crisis Centre on Rape Crisis’ website.

Helpline: 0808 802 9999 (Daily, 12pm – 2:30pm, and 7pm – 9:30pm)
Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (Daily, open 24 hours a day)
www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

ATSAC, a non-profit organisation, is committed to providing hope, information and UK treatment options to sex addicts and those who love them. We also provide professional standards and training to the growing number of therapists choosing to specialise in this field.

http://www.atsac.co.uk/

Sex Addicts Anonymous in the UK

SAA is a group of men and women who share our experience, strength and hope with each other for the purpose of finding freedom from addictive sexual behaviour and helping others recover from sex addiction. Our programme is based on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, though we are not affiliated with AA or any other organisation.

http://saa-recovery.org.uk/

Have I got a Problem?

HaveiGotAproblem.com is a free online resource to help you understand issues or concerns you may have about mental health or addiction issues.

This site was created to give the public information to help them understand mental health and addiction issues and to assist people in making better informed decisions about their life and personal choices.

 

http://www.haveigotaproblem.com/

 

Young Minds

Charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.

www.youngminds.org.uk
Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 Monday - Friday 9.30am - 4pm

Support Line

SupportLine provides a confidential telephone helpline offering emotional support to any individual on any issue. The Helpline is primarily a preventative service and aims to support people before they reach the point of crisis. It is particularly aimed at those who are socially isolated, vulnerable, at risk groups and victims of any form of abuse. SupportLine is a member of the Helplines Association. SupportLine also provides support by email and post.

http://www.supportline.org.uk
Helpline: 01708 765 200

Student Minds

Student Minds is the UK's student mental health charity. We believe that peer support can change the state of student mental health. Our vision is for students to take action to foster an environment where everyone has the confidence to talk and listen to each other, the skills to support one another and the knowledge to look after their own mental health.

Helpline: 08444 775 774 Mon-Fri 9:30am - 5.30pm (calls subject to charge)
http://www.studentminds.org.uk/anxiety-disorders.html

Samaritans

The Samaritans provide 24 hour, confidential, emotional support for anyone in crisis.

http://www.samaritans.org/
Helpline 116 123, this number is FREE to call
Email jo@samaritans.org

Elefriends (run by Mind)

Elefriends is a supportive online community where you can be yourself. 

We all know what it's like to struggle sometimes, and this is a safe place to listen, share and be heard. Whether you're feeling good right now, or really low, it's a safe place to share experiences and listen to others. 

Shared experiences and perspectives are valuable and powerful. In this way Elefriends don't just get help, they give help too. In the good times and the bad.

www.elefriends.org.uk

Off The Record

We believe that young people need places to go which are easy to access, where you are treated with respect, and where you can get support and information to help you make your own life choices. Our services are friendly and welcoming – about 1,000 new young people visit us every year. Available in the Richmond borough.

http://otrtwickenham.com/

Papyrus UK

Suicide prevention for young people up to the age of 35

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
Helpline: 0800 068 41 41
Monday - Friday 10am – 5pm & 7pm – 10pm, Weekends 2pm – 5pm 

Text: 07786 209697
Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org

 

Barnardos

Barnardo’s believes in children regardless of their circumstances, gender, race, disability or behaviour. Our purpose as a charity today is to transform the lives of the UK’s most vulnerable children. We believe in the abused, the most vulnerable, the forgotten and the neglected. We will support them, stand up for them and bring out the best in each and every child.

www.barnardos.org.uk

Think U Know

Thinkuknow offers advice to young people on sex, relationships and the internet. Are you in a relationship? Maybe you’re looking to start a new relationship online? Or are you curious or worried about sex? Thinkuknow will provide you with up-to-date, practical and frank advice to help you to develop the skills and confidence to make sure you’re safe and happy with the choices you are making.

www.thinkuknow.co.uk

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